Fear and life goals
If you feel that the challenge of finding an activity that suits your expectations is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks that you’ve ever encountered, you are not alone; such dilemma is common for most of the people that are looking to have a meaningful life.
No one can find the answer for you, but I may be able to help with an honest perspective about how I’ve being trying to get a solution for that problem, and it's related to overcoming my fears.
To start, I've embraced the fact that not always I was looking for a response. In fact most of the times, I was immersed in mundane daily tasks until at some point bitter feelings came to my life to remind me that the clock is ticking. After some years, I’ve learned to accept such bitterness and even appreciate it, because it’s been a call from my soul for evaluating my present. As I suppose you’ll perceive, this is not something that happens just to you.
The next thing that usually I do is to breathe until I am calm. After that, the hardest part often comes, which is stopping terrorizing myself about finding an answer right now and instead, to set a moment during the week to which I’ll dedicate myself on thinking about the matter, calmly. It is quite difficult to let the guiltiness and anxiety go, but I understood that solutions under such feelings are never going to be the best for such inquiry. Self-pettiness just brought me warm sensations when I was desperate, but not real pathways to overcome the problem. It is always hard to win against bad feelings, but such battle is an example of moments in which we take decisions that forge our souls.
I used to have a fear that I could forget the day settled to think about my life, but typically a reminder was enough. Now, I believe that when the right moment comes there are no excuses. Long ago, it was just fear that made me feel that I was incompetent, but once I've overcome it, I’ve being able to hear the calling of my soul and dedicate time to it.
During the date set, I tend to evaluate my past, previous decisions and take decisions based on my experiences. Sometimes if I am wise enough, from the experiences of others as well. Few times, I need more than a day so I set a new moment for it. Finally, a last desperate moment then comes; the time to act and destroy the fear based on what I've learned so far, knowing that in life there is not a right or wrong path, and the only solution is to be brave and make a road while we are living.
We might think that we do not have a perfect answer, but being paralyzed by fear can be an excuse that will make us sad during our last days in this cycle. Our life is an experiment, and the only solution is an iteration, which is learning by doing rather than moaning and being afraid.